Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Guest Post: 5 Ways To Increase Your Child's Emotional Intelligence

From the moment this precious bundle of joy is handed into your arms, she starts learning from you.

She learns if she cries, and you respond or don’t.

She learns that it hurts when she pulls your ear by the ear-ring, and you say “Ouch!”

She watches and learns by your actions and re-actions to every single act of voice, movement, and emotional expression.

As parents, we teach them a lot. From how to take the first step to where the limits are when it comes to human morals and values.

You as a parent and a guardian of this precious child cannot depend totally on schools to fulfill the most difficult, yet one of the most desirable rights, and duties at the same time, to raise a child with high Emotional IQ.

What is an Emotional IQ?
Emotional IQ is an ability to perceive, control and evaluate emotions.

Many in the academia are arguing what is more important: Intelligence IQ or Emotional IQ.

In my humble opinion, it’s not about what’s more important. Both are in high demand. The argument is being made to support the development of the “intelligent” side in a child, and ignore the emotional element of it.

A child with mature to her age emotional IQ behaves better. She responds to learning process with an open mind, thus, accumulates more data, i.e., knowledge.

Children with a more developed emotional intelligence use their emotionality during any learning process: whether it is learning how to walk or how to read.

They manage their relationships more successfully throughout their lives. And what’s more important, they are much happier people inside themselves.

Providing your child with an environment that allows her to become a carrier of high Emotional IQ will pay off in spades during her entire life.

So, how can you as a parent and a guardian ensure that your child grows with high Emotional IQ?

Here are a few tips to keep in mind.

Hold Your Child
When she is a baby and cries, many parents want to “wait-it-out.” Nope, the more frequently you repeat it, such response is being learned as “I am ignored. I am not loved.” Hold your child every time she cries. Help her to sooth her feelings and let her know that everything is OK.

Babies who are held during their infancy more often, grow up with more confidence and peace in them, and a brighter outlook for life.

Empathize With Your Child
When you empathize with her, she learns that she is not alone in this world, thus resolving her frightening emotions and moving on. Don’t scold your child when they express their emotions. Be with them – Empathize.

Children who experienced the empathy from their parents more frequently grow up with a developed nervous system and a set of psychological responses that allow them to function in any environment and respond to difficult situations well.

Read To Your Child
Read books about emotions. All little kids are in love and in fascination of different emotional eruptions of literary heroes. From early on, little ones have to master their response to anger, happiness, joy, sadness and so much more. Here are just a few titles for good reading as an example:

• Today I Feel Silly by Jamie Lee Curtis
• I’m Mad by Elizabeth Crary
• When Sophie Gets Angry by Molly Bang
• Story of My Feelings by Laurie Berkner

Teach Your Child Optimism
By teaching your child to perceive setbacks as a temporary condition, as nonpersonal, and within her power to change, your child will be empowered in every situation she finds herself.

And by noticing how your child’s thinking process is going – glass is half full or half empty – instill to look at the “fuller” option of the glass. When you do it by repetition, you child will pick it up and learn from you.

Raise A Resilient Child
It means to allow your child to see that the world out there is a friendly place to live and to create. By responding to her needs, spending a lot of time doing things together and in a group of other people, you display by your personal example that interactions among people are meaningful and bring riches to our personal lives.

A child internalizes her positive experiences with you and the other people as their powerful guide for any accomplishments or any tough situations she will discover during her life.

There’s so much more to what you as a parent and a guardian can do to raise a happy child with mature Emotional IQ!

Please don’t be overwhelmed. Just take one thing at a time and see what you can do every day to add to your baby, your toddler, your pre-schooler’s Emotional IQ.

This process is intuitive. Yet knowing a few things about any parenting subject does help to guide you through the labyrinth of things you, as a parent, must do on the daily basis.

Celebrate Your Child Today!

About Laura Gontchar:
I am a mother to a bi-lingual toddler who shares her love for anything eco-clean, non-toxic, organic, and educational. With all my passion, I support women in their daily quest to live their dream. To really to know me, come over to my blog, browse it and leave your thread of thought or comment.


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